Ze da Fiel
11-17-2001, 12:54 AM
The War on Terrorism - The key participants. An explanation for footy fans.
USA: Man Utd - Utterly Arrogant and motivated by greed. If they suffer the
slightest injustice the whole world hears about it. Leader sees himself as
bit of a visionary, most see him as bit of a Tyrant.
Al Qaeda: Leeds - Thugs who like to take out opponents behind the play.
Capable of upsetting just about anyone. Leader is a paranoid nutter.
UK: Aston Villa - Trying to move forward having been stuck in the past for
decades. Have a leader who loves the sound of his own voice, full of
rhetoric whilst ducking the important issues.
France: Arsenal - Perennial bridesmaids. Have a huge armoury but heavily
criticized in the past for misfiring. More likely to bore you to death than
to be a real threat to anyone. Leader has a habit of turning a blind eye.
Pakistan: Chelsea - Trying hard to be one of the big boys, but has upset a
large percentage of it's supporter base through its over involvement with
foreigners. Could soon experience a revolt within its own ranks.
The Taliban: Liverpool - Strict disciplinarians where members are measured
as much by what they wear and do as who they are. Leadership suffered a bit
of a shock recently but clinging to life and always hard to beat at home.
Very much a bloke's team.
India: Sunderland - A sleeping giant, not a contender at the moment but with
a huge supporter base. Likes to think it's opinion is worth plenty, yet is
largely ignored by non-fans. Local derbies can be a bit fiery.
The Northern Alliance: West Ham - An undisciplined rabble in need of
sponsorship dollars.
Israel: Tottenham - Rabid supporters tucked away everywhere and usually only
become vocal when they start winning. See themselves as the chosen but in
reality suffer from an over inflated sense of self. Local transport can be a
bit dodgy.
Palestine: Fulham - A team currently looking for a home, had been on the
periphery for many years before the mid 90s. Not regarded as a big contender
but has a strong youth policy. Funded by rich Arabs.
Japan: Everton - No attack, last campaign of any note 1942. Big player
financially in the 1980s, however struggling a bit these days.
Iraq: Millwall - Serious hardarses who could be on the way back. Opponents
prefer to see them out of the Premiership. Most of their neighbours hate
them, they know it, and they don't care.
Russia: Newcastle - Once a great superpower, recently in decay. Have chosen
some real muppets as leaders.
Uzbekistan: Leicester - Stuck in the middle. Has a bit of an ars*h*le but
light on ammunition.
Germany: Wolves - Tendency to self destruct. A strong history but off the
scene of late. Unfortunate uniforms.
Australia: Southampton - Completely harmless. Not a contender. Just in it to
make up the numbers. Supporters are loyal but regularly embarrassed.
Egypt: Derby - Had a crack at world dominance and though the remnants are
still there they hark back to the glory days. A bit over defensive and
vulnerable up the middle.
Please note that no country can be associated with Middlesbrough. The
closest thing was Lebanon but apparently certain parts of war torn Beirut
are bordering on pleasant.
USA: Man Utd - Utterly Arrogant and motivated by greed. If they suffer the
slightest injustice the whole world hears about it. Leader sees himself as
bit of a visionary, most see him as bit of a Tyrant.
Al Qaeda: Leeds - Thugs who like to take out opponents behind the play.
Capable of upsetting just about anyone. Leader is a paranoid nutter.
UK: Aston Villa - Trying to move forward having been stuck in the past for
decades. Have a leader who loves the sound of his own voice, full of
rhetoric whilst ducking the important issues.
France: Arsenal - Perennial bridesmaids. Have a huge armoury but heavily
criticized in the past for misfiring. More likely to bore you to death than
to be a real threat to anyone. Leader has a habit of turning a blind eye.
Pakistan: Chelsea - Trying hard to be one of the big boys, but has upset a
large percentage of it's supporter base through its over involvement with
foreigners. Could soon experience a revolt within its own ranks.
The Taliban: Liverpool - Strict disciplinarians where members are measured
as much by what they wear and do as who they are. Leadership suffered a bit
of a shock recently but clinging to life and always hard to beat at home.
Very much a bloke's team.
India: Sunderland - A sleeping giant, not a contender at the moment but with
a huge supporter base. Likes to think it's opinion is worth plenty, yet is
largely ignored by non-fans. Local derbies can be a bit fiery.
The Northern Alliance: West Ham - An undisciplined rabble in need of
sponsorship dollars.
Israel: Tottenham - Rabid supporters tucked away everywhere and usually only
become vocal when they start winning. See themselves as the chosen but in
reality suffer from an over inflated sense of self. Local transport can be a
bit dodgy.
Palestine: Fulham - A team currently looking for a home, had been on the
periphery for many years before the mid 90s. Not regarded as a big contender
but has a strong youth policy. Funded by rich Arabs.
Japan: Everton - No attack, last campaign of any note 1942. Big player
financially in the 1980s, however struggling a bit these days.
Iraq: Millwall - Serious hardarses who could be on the way back. Opponents
prefer to see them out of the Premiership. Most of their neighbours hate
them, they know it, and they don't care.
Russia: Newcastle - Once a great superpower, recently in decay. Have chosen
some real muppets as leaders.
Uzbekistan: Leicester - Stuck in the middle. Has a bit of an ars*h*le but
light on ammunition.
Germany: Wolves - Tendency to self destruct. A strong history but off the
scene of late. Unfortunate uniforms.
Australia: Southampton - Completely harmless. Not a contender. Just in it to
make up the numbers. Supporters are loyal but regularly embarrassed.
Egypt: Derby - Had a crack at world dominance and though the remnants are
still there they hark back to the glory days. A bit over defensive and
vulnerable up the middle.
Please note that no country can be associated with Middlesbrough. The
closest thing was Lebanon but apparently certain parts of war torn Beirut
are bordering on pleasant.