ulster21
03-09-2006, 09:03 PM
If Hollyweird had made "Lord of the Rings"...
1) The brilliant blue eyes of the actors would have been "toned down" or
changed to brown so as not to offend anyone.
2) They would have pulled big, nasty, White guys from the muddy bowels of
Mordor instead of black-skinned Uruk-Hai
3) The Orcs would have blond hair
4) The Elven princess Arwen [played by Liv Tyler] would have at least one
nude sex scene with a "different" Aragorn [played by Wesley Snipes or Denzel
Washington]
5) The LOTR theme song "May It Be" by Enya would be replaced by a rap from
Li'l Kim to appeal to the youth demographic.
6) During Boromir's death scene, Aragorn would promise that he "will not
let the Light-brown City fall" instead of "White City"
7) The narrator of the opening scenes would have a New York accent, rather
than that "stuffy British" accent
8) Middle-earth would undergo mandatory diversity and tolerance training,
and the invasion would be referred to as "immigration"
Think about it..............
:yell: :yell: :yell:
1) The brilliant blue eyes of the actors would have been "toned down" or
changed to brown so as not to offend anyone.
2) They would have pulled big, nasty, White guys from the muddy bowels of
Mordor instead of black-skinned Uruk-Hai
3) The Orcs would have blond hair
4) The Elven princess Arwen [played by Liv Tyler] would have at least one
nude sex scene with a "different" Aragorn [played by Wesley Snipes or Denzel
Washington]
5) The LOTR theme song "May It Be" by Enya would be replaced by a rap from
Li'l Kim to appeal to the youth demographic.
6) During Boromir's death scene, Aragorn would promise that he "will not
let the Light-brown City fall" instead of "White City"
7) The narrator of the opening scenes would have a New York accent, rather
than that "stuffy British" accent
8) Middle-earth would undergo mandatory diversity and tolerance training,
and the invasion would be referred to as "immigration"
Think about it..............
:yell: :yell: :yell: