Funny Movie Quotes

[Tijana]

well..i'm bored and feel like laughing lol so plz post any funny movies quotes you know..i got a few

Jessica (Clive): [on the phone to Billy after becoming a man] I should have made love to you when I had the chance.
Billy: Father Mulcahy? <-- LOL that1 cracks me up..its from the Hot Chick

"Ling Ling you forgot your bling bling" <-- LOL
"I don't think you get the gravity of the situation here"

[Ivan7637]

Chris Tucker-Rush Hour

"I have a dream, that one day, black people and white people, and even chinese people can play poker together without getting different chips"

lol funny....

(not a movie but a show)South Park-Stan after seing passion of the christ.

Stan: I want my money back

Theater guy: why?

Stan: dude that movie sucked.

Theater guy: that movie symbolizes the death of jesus christ our savior.

Stan: dude you can't charge people money to watch a guy get tortured for two hours.

:) No offense to anyone :)

[Tijana]

lol

this isnt from a movie but still funny lol..

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*.

lol

[Ivan7637]

haha you are gay lol...

Some South Park Quotes:

1.Cartman: I've been keeping this place free of hippies since I was five and a half.

2. Satan: Saddaam! You're back. I thought I killed you!
Saddaam: Yeah, well where was I gonna go, Detroit?

3. Cop: I'm never going to frame another innocent man again! Unless I know he's black.


4. Cartman: Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!

5. Stan: Hey, do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Cartman: What is that like finding Jesus or something?

6. Cartman: I used to think disabled people were here for my amusement.

7. Kyle:Dude, Cartman, look! Your mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!

8. Stan: I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull

9. Mr Garrison: No, that's wrong, Cartman. But don't worry, there are no stupid answers, just stupid people.

10. Mr Garrison: Ok children, let's all gather around and bob for stupid apples now. You go first Bebe. That's good, just use those mouth muscles like the girls in Beijing

11. Token : "You mean, you want me around?"
Stan : "Sure, dude, you're our friend."
Token : "Yeah, I know. But you guys always rip on me for being rich."
Stan : "Dude, just because we rip on you for being rich doesn't mean we don't like you."
Kyle : "Yeah. We're guys, dude. We find something about all our friends to rip on. We made fun of you for being rich just like we make fun of Butters for being wimpy."
Butters : "They sure do."
Stan : "Yeah, like we rip on Kyle for being a Jew."
Kyle : "Right."
Token : "That's right, huh?"
Kyle : "And Stan for being in love with Wendy."
Stan : "Yeah, I get it for that."
Kyle : "And Cartman for being fat."
Cartman : "Uh huh."
Kyle : "And Cartman for being stupid."
Cartman : "Yeah."
Kyle : "And Cartman for having a whore for a mom."
Cartman : "Hey!"
Kyle : "And Cartman for being a sadistic asshole."
Cartman : "Ey, you did me already!"

12. Cartman: I'm trying to make the best out of a bad situation. I don't need to hear crap from a bunch of hippie freaks living in denial! Screw you guys, I'm going home."

13. Cartman: My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa

14.(As vietnamese whore) Cartman: Ten dollar! Eight dollar! You give me eight dollar, soldier boy! Sucky, sucky, five dollar!

15. I learned somethin' today. This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers the world has ever seen. And they knew one thing: that a truly great country can go to war, and at the same time, act like it doesn't want to. You people who are for the war, you need the protesters. Because they make the country look like it's made of sane, caring individuals. And you people who are anti-war, you need these flag-wavers, because, if our whole country was made up of nothing but soft pussy protesters, we'd get taken down in a second. That's why the founding fathers decided we should have both. It's called 'having your cake and eating it too'."


16. Principal Victoria: Watch the video Eric.
Narrator: Adolph Hitler was a very, very naughty man.
Hitler: Schnell ach. Lovental bros lieben. And I menschen vergen broder. Doktor Schtella, alarm, menschen…
Cartman: Lieben est verboten, a es scriben uts, ka liederhosen, …God damnit!
Puffy the Bear: So remember kids, dressing up like Hitler in school, isn't cool.
Principal Victoria: Now, do you have any questions?
Cartman: Could I see that again, that was kewl

17. Cartmans Mom: Eric is supposed to be grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago



haha no offense to anyone. all for jokes lol :)

[Toke-E-Yo]

Dman, he aint gonn abe in rush hour 3! - Chris Tucker

[Tijana]

lol haha thats sum funny shit...

Harold & Kumar go to White Castle:

Harold: So what are you in here for?

Tarik: For being black.

Harold: Seriously.

Tarik: I am serious. You wanna know what happened. I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a black guy robbed a storein Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.

Harold: Holy shit! What'd you do?

Tarik: I kept saying,"I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me."

Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.

Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.


Officer Palumbo: What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?
Kumar: No, it's actually one "u"
Officer Palumbo: Yeah... bullshit.

[Michael Buckley]

Here's a real old one.

" I shot an elephant in my pyjamas,how he got into my pyjamas I don't know !"-----Groucho Marx, from the film "Animal Crackers" :)

[G@ng$ta]

haha you are gay lol...

Some South Park Quotes:

1.Cartman: I've been keeping this place free of hippies since I was five and a half.

2. Satan: Saddaam! You're back. I thought I killed you!
Saddaam: Yeah, well where was I gonna go, Detroit?

3. Cop: I'm never going to frame another innocent man again! Unless I know he's black.


4. Cartman: Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!

5. Stan: Hey, do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Cartman: What is that like finding Jesus or something?

6. Cartman: I used to think disabled people were here for my amusement.

7. Kyle:Dude, Cartman, look! Your mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine!

8. Stan: I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull

9. Mr Garrison: No, that's wrong, Cartman. But don't worry, there are no stupid answers, just stupid people.

10. Mr Garrison: Ok children, let's all gather around and bob for stupid apples now. You go first Bebe. That's good, just use those mouth muscles like the girls in Beijing

11. Token : "You mean, you want me around?"
Stan : "Sure, dude, you're our friend."
Token : "Yeah, I know. But you guys always rip on me for being rich."
Stan : "Dude, just because we rip on you for being rich doesn't mean we don't like you."
Kyle : "Yeah. We're guys, dude. We find something about all our friends to rip on. We made fun of you for being rich just like we make fun of Butters for being wimpy."
Butters : "They sure do."
Stan : "Yeah, like we rip on Kyle for being a Jew."
Kyle : "Right."
Token : "That's right, huh?"
Kyle : "And Stan for being in love with Wendy."
Stan : "Yeah, I get it for that."
Kyle : "And Cartman for being fat."
Cartman : "Uh huh."
Kyle : "And Cartman for being stupid."
Cartman : "Yeah."
Kyle : "And Cartman for having a whore for a mom."
Cartman : "Hey!"
Kyle : "And Cartman for being a sadistic asshole."
Cartman : "Ey, you did me already!"

12. Cartman: I'm trying to make the best out of a bad situation. I don't need to hear crap from a bunch of hippie freaks living in denial! Screw you guys, I'm going home."

13. Cartman: My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa

14.(As vietnamese whore) Cartman: Ten dollar! Eight dollar! You give me eight dollar, soldier boy! Sucky, sucky, five dollar!

15. I learned somethin' today. This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers the world has ever seen. And they knew one thing: that a truly great country can go to war, and at the same time, act like it doesn't want to. You people who are for the war, you need the protesters. Because they make the country look like it's made of sane, caring individuals. And you people who are anti-war, you need these flag-wavers, because, if our whole country was made up of nothing but soft pussy protesters, we'd get taken down in a second. That's why the founding fathers decided we should have both. It's called 'having your cake and eating it too'."


16. Principal Victoria: Watch the video Eric.
Narrator: Adolph Hitler was a very, very naughty man.
Hitler: Schnell ach. Lovental bros lieben. And I menschen vergen broder. Doktor Schtella, alarm, menschen…
Cartman: Lieben est verboten, a es scriben uts, ka liederhosen, …God damnit!
Puffy the Bear: So remember kids, dressing up like Hitler in school, isn't cool.
Principal Victoria: Now, do you have any questions?
Cartman: Could I see that again, that was kewl

17. Cartmans Mom: Eric is supposed to be grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago



haha no offense to anyone. all for jokes lol :)
CROATIAN BASTARD ///I HOPE UR MOTHER DIES

[_GrimReaper]

Pirates of the Caribbean:

Sparrow: This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow...

Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly.
It's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're gonna do something incredibly stupid !!!

E. Swan: So that's it you spent 3 days lying on the beach drinking rom
Sparrow: Welcome to the carribeans

[G@ng$ta]

Pirates of the Caribbean:

Sparrow: This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow...

Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly.
It's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're gonna do something incredibly stupid !!!

E. Swan: So that's it you spent 3 days lying on the beach drinking rom
Sparrow: Welcome to the carribeans
SHUT THE HELL UP BULGARIAN MUTHAFCKA

[_GrimReaper]

if youre trying to be interesting or funny you arent at all you anal whore
DA TI EBA MAIKATA PEDERAST

[Ivan7637]

***k you killa.

Arsenal sucks Balls!!!

Bayern 3- Arsenal 1 last year. Go ***k your shit henry.

Piece of human waste.

[Lance Knight]

Pirates of the Caribbean:

Sparrow: This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow...

Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly.
It's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're gonna do something incredibly stupid !!!

E. Swan: So that's it you spent 3 days lying on the beach drinking rom
Sparrow: Welcome to the carribeans
lol that sounds like T&T alright, lol

ok from dudes where's my car?

Dude whats mine say?

Sweet.... what mines say?

Dude.... whats mine say?

Sweet.... what mines say?

Dude.... whats mine say?

Sweet.... what mines say?

Dude.... whats mine say?

[ema_scg]

From Zoolander:

Zoolander: Modeling, to me, isn't just about being good-looking or having a lot of fun and being really, really good looking. The caledar was great because it gave people a chance to see a side of my versatility. The original Greek word for model means "misshapen ball of clay" and I try to think about that every time I get in front of a camera.



Matilda: Derek, I don't know if you're familiar with the belief that some aboriginal tribes hold. It's the concept that a photo might steal a part of your soul. What are your thoughts on that if someone gets his picture taken for a living?
Zoolander: Well I guess I would have to answer your question with another question. How many abo-diginals do you see modeling?



Matilda: Every day after school I would come home and you know, I'd flip through the pages of my mom's Vogue and Glamour and ? I'd just ? I'd look at these women .. These perfect, beautiful ? just unbelievable skinny women. I just couldn't - Oh, I just couldn't understand why I didn't look like them. I just didn't get it. So um ? so I became ?
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Zoolander: You can read minds?

[Bosanac]

World is like a great big pussy just waiting to be ***ked


Al Pacino from Scarface

[Gladius]

this quote is from full metal jacket. Some of my favorite quotes come from this movie.

Drill sergeant: "Tonight you will sleep with your rifles, and you will give your rifle a woman's name, because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ole' Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her purty pink panties are over. You are married to this piece, this weapon of wood and iron, and you WILL BE FAITHFUL."

I love that movie