Funny news

[lsgworldl]

NEW CONDOM NAME DROPPED

South Korea has shelved a plan to replace the English word for condom with a Korean word - because it was too similar to people's names.

The Korean Anti-AIDS Federation had planned to use the word "ae-pil", which was derived from the Chinese characters for love and necessity.


However, the plans were shelved after a string of complaints from people with identical or similar sounding names.

The name was picked from 19,000 suggestions sent in by the public, but federation official Kim Hoon-soo confirmed that public complains had caused the rethink.

"An old lady called to complain, saying she was worried about her grandson being teased due to her name being 'condom'," he said.

He added that the federation had now dropped its push for a new name altogether.

The federation promotes condom use in South Korea, where only 10% of people use condoms when having sex.

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13262155,00.html

[lsgworldl]

TEARS IN CYBERSPACE

Mourners unable to attend loved one's funerals will soon be able to watch them over the internet.

A century-old crematorium in the Indian city of Baroda, in the western state of Gujarat is creating a website to broadcast the sombre events live.


The creators hope their idea will help the thousands of Gujaratis living abroad, largely in Britain and the US.

To protect the privacy and dignity of the occasion, the funerals will only streamed at the request of family.

A fee will be charged and only registered users will be allowed to watch the cremation.

One of those helping to construct the website, Jagdish Thakkar, hopes it will be running by June.

He said: "There are a lot of relatives who live abroad or even in other parts of the country who cannot attend funerals.

"Through webcasting, all of them will be able to see and share their grief in virtual space."

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13254445,00.html

[lsgworldl]

BRADFORD OUT IN FRONT

Women in Bradford have the biggest Bristols in Britain, according to a new survey.


The curvy West Yorkshire lasses are way out in front of the rest with an average bust size of 41 inches, the study said.

Leicester girls came in second with average assets of 40 inches, and Glasgow and Birmingham ladies measured up third with 39 inches.

The vital statistics were taken by fitness website Dailydiettracker.co.uk who asked 37,000 women across the country how big their chests were.

Edinburgh women came in bottom of the 15 cities polled with an average of 30 inches.

Website spokesman CJ Brough said: "Here's proof that British women come in all shapes and sizes.

"It's interesting to see how the female form varies across the country."

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13261988,00.html

[lsgworldl]

PERIOD PORN UP FOR SALE

The world's first known piece of printed pornography is expected to reach up to £35,000 pounds when it is auctioned next month.

"Sodom", penned in the mid-1670s, has been attributed to John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester and is described by Sotheby's as a "drama with pornography in almost every line".


"We believe this is the first printed pornography in English literature, a unique copy of the quintessence of debauchery," Peter Beal, Sotheby's book specialist said.

"It is one of the most notorious publications in literature and makes most pornography written 300 years later seem tame."

The book centres on the decision made by a lustful King to "set the nation free" by allowing "buggary" to be "used thro' all the land" and then details the dire consequences.

The book, the only surviving copy, will be auctioned on December 16.

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13255124,00.html

[lsgworldl]

URINE RISK TO BRIDGE

A landmark bridge could collapse because locals keep relieving themselves on it.

Urine is rotting one of the steel pillars supporting the Ampera bridge on the Indonesian island of Sumatra.


And that means the bridge has begun to list and even rock during heavy traffic.

"We are concerned that one of its main support piers has been weakened by urine, as it is a popular spot for locals to relieve themselves," a public works official told the Jakarta Post.

He added that the acidic fluid's corrosive forces could attribute to an eventual collapse of the bridge.

Vehicles weighing more than one tonne are being diverted from the structure.

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13255793,00.html

[lsgworldl]

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

An Australian phone company is offering customers the chance to blacklist numbers before heading out for a night on the town.

The offer is designed to reduce the risk of people making any embarrassing, incoherent late-night calls.


It comes after a survey by Virgin Mobile found 95% of people made drunken calls during a night out.

Of those calls, 30% were to ex-partners, 19% to current partners, and 36% to other people, including their bosses.

The survey also found that 55% of people would immediately grab for their phone the next morning to check who they had drunkenly dialled.

Only 8% who went for the headache pills first.

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13257775,00.html

[lsgworldl]

TOP TEN SPEEDING EXCUSES

Dying hamsters, overhead jets, aliens and a desperate need for the toilet have all been offered as excuses by speeding motorists.

Speed camera organisation The Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership has publicised the zaniest ways that drivers hoped to avoid a penalty.


Manager Ray King said everything from the wind behind the car to a vibrating surfboard were quoted by motorists.

"This is a light-hearted look at excuses for speeding but it is a serious issue - we'd rather not be getting any letters at all because no one is breaking the speed limit and no one is receiving a ticket," he said.

"It is quite amazing the lengths some drivers will go to to avoid £60 and three points, when really the alternative is extremely simple - keeping within the speed limit."

The 10 most elaborate excuses given by drivers caught by speed cameras were:

:: I had passed out after seeing flashing lights in the distance, which I believed to be UFOs. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance.

:: I was in the airport's flight path, and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car.

:: I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.

:: There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit.

:: My friend had just chopped his own fingers off, and I was rushing the digits to hospital.

:: The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera.

:: I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets.

:: A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator.

:: There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned.

:: The only way I could demonstrate that my clutch was faulty was to accelerate madly.

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13259895,00.html

[lsgworldl]

ACTION MAN'S SEA RESCUE

Coastguards rushed to save a parachutist who ditched in the sea only to find they were rescuing an Action Man toy.

Passers-by raised the alarm after seeing a silhouetted figure hit the water off Hastings, East Sussex, at around 3.40pm on Monday.


The Hastings lifeboat was launched, and began a hunt more than a quarter mile out at sea.

However, when the coastguard crew finally tracked down the parachutist it turned out to be the popular plastic hero toy.

A spokesman said: "We located Action Man just after teatime.

"It looks like a kid tied him to some helium balloons and set him loose.

"He must have gone up pretty high, because it came down from above the clouds, and appeared very much like a man in a parachute crash-landing."

"Now we just have to find the kid who is missing his favourite toy," the spokesman added.

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13262100,00.html

[PrAvI HrVaT]

Name this the crap thread.

[Lance Knight]

Isgworld u have alot of time on your hands, by chance are u married

[Hat_Trick_Playa]

Who do u want 2 know?